Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
