sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Sober January is a disaster.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
