god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
