So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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