I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
