I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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