You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
