Whod you bang
I must be too annoying 4 u.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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