Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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