I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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