you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
