she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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