Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
50% drunk capacity currently
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
