He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
