i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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