You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
