I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
