oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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