She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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