He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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