I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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