He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
