Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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