I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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