Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
