my soul wont recognize me after tonight
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The uberlube is also flammable
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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