someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
