tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Why did my mother make you get naked?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
