Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
