their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
it was like his penis was on wheels.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
