Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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