Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
