Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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