The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
