"it" just moved
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
