once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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