Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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