You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
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