Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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