is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
