Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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