i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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