there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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