meet me or not, i'm out of control
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
