oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
