My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
