i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
