mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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