I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I didn't shave. On purpose
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
