Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
